For those new to concealed carry, probably the overriding fact for them is that they have a gun on their person. It is natural to be constantly aware of the weapon - after all, it is not something that most of us have grown up with. A pound or more of cold steel encased in plastic or leather hanging off our belts, tucked inside the waistband of our pants or skirts or in a purse or briefcase is difficult to ignore under normal circumstances. It's always there. It pokes, prods and weighs us down. It bumps into doorways and cars. It is there to be felt when a friend gives you a friendly pat or hug. ("That? Oh, that's my insulin pump." Or, depending on the friend, you can say that's my new 9 mm semi-auto... Wanna see it? I don't recommend disclosing to anyone whom you don't have to that you are legally carrying. Once you tell someone, it is in the "wild". You have no control over who else will know... Not a good idea.)
It is a good idea to practice giving and receiving hugs, being an increasingly normal greeting in some circumstances, so that the other person is redirected from touching your weapon. I've found that some men friends will reach out and give one a friendly pat on the side, about where your kidneys are. Wearing a gun near that position - strong side carry on or behind the hip, a common practice for men - guarantees that such a friendly pat will find your gun. Then what? I've used the 'insulin pump' ploy before, but that's pretty lame and leaves the suspicion that you are hiding something. Which you are. I tend to favor a cross draw or appendix carry position when I know I'm going to be mixing with a lot of people to forestall the good old boy kidney pat, or the friendly females who are into hugging everyone. Once, when a male friend gave me a "hello" pat like that on the street and his hand banged into my pistol under my shirt, he looked at me with a quizzical expression. I just smiled back and carried on like nothing happened. To this day, I still think he isn't sure what happened, but I never admitted carrying, so he doesn't know for sure.
So, finding a carry position that works for you, and a good holster that you can depend on will go a long way to becoming more at ease with concealed carry. My experience is that you will end up with a number of holsters to suit different needs. For example, I recently spent two days traveling to another city, going to restaurants, hotels, stores, walking streets, visiting friends, in and out of the car and in a large movie theatre. I took two guns along. One, a Ruger LCP with a Crimson Trace laser sight, and a Ruger LC9, no laser. I had the LCP in a Remora holster, leather lined with an attached mag pouch. Since I carry this mostly at the cross draw position, this was an excellent package for driving, when I was not wearing a coat or sweater (it was pretty cold outside) and in the dark movie theatre. Slipped between my belt and waistband on my cross draw side, it is totally unobtrusive, comfortable and secure - there is a large amount of surface area with the mag pouch attached and this grips exceedingly well.
Even under a simple long sleeve T-shirt, it's not detectable, and it's accessible when sitting.
Other times, I changed to the LC9 in a D.M. Bullard "Bandit" which I use for either my LC9 or my SR9c as a strong side OWB holster. Being almost a straight drop (small cant) I can also wear this cross draw if I like. When I was carrying one pistol, the other was in my messenger bag along with my iPad, notebook and pens and flashlight. It's become my BUG ( back up gun) bag when I carry two guns. When I know I will be walking a lot and want more comfort with a larger caliber, I favor OWB holsters. Although I like cross draw for most situations, I have still not found an acceptable OWB cross draw for anything larger than a small pistol like the LCP.
Other people's awareness that you are carrying a gun
Unless you are sloppy and careless, or carry without a holster, or in an inferior holster that will allow your gun to fall out on the sidewalk as you exit your car, or on the floor as you bend down in public, or dress so that your gun and holster shows, other people will not know you are carrying. I frequently observe others in public to see if I can determine if they are carrying. So far, unless the gun actually shows by printing badly (once) or is exposed when they reach for something (once), I can't tell. And, considering where I live and how many people own handguns and permits to carry them, I am certain that in any sizable gathering, I am not the only one carrying.
When you are new at this, you will have a tendency to fiddle. Re-adjusting the gun and holster, which, after a brief time of carrying, could be the sign of an inferior or ill-fitting holster. Mostly, assuming you have the holster thing figured out, this is only the result of you being too aware of the gun. It is also a give-away to anyone who is looking for signs. If you think there is a problem with your holster or gun, head to a private area - stalls in a restroom are good - and check it out. And fix it. And, remember, that when you look down and see a small dent in your shirt from the end of the grip, you may know it's from the gun under your belt, but hardly anyone else does, if they even notice it at all. Just looks like another wrinkle to them.
Practice. Practice. Practice.Sometimes awareness comes from the sneaking suspicion that you aren't ready to carry, deploy and use your weapon. Comfort with carrying comes with carrying. If you have decided to do that, then by all means, carry whenever it is legal to do so. Not when it seems important or convenient, but all of the time. If you have to leave your gun behind, like going to the Post Office or Court House, invest in a cable-secured gun box, attach it to your car and lock your gun there until you return. Not convenient but better than leaving it at home. You can never predict when you will be confronted by a situation that calls for self protection.
Practice deploying your gun from your various holsters, quickly, efficiently, safely and properly. Needless to say, do this with an unloaded weapon, with no one else around. If you carry with the safety on, always disengage it a the proper place in your draw sequence. Even if it is already off-safe, it is good practice to swipe it off anyway. Do this while wearing what you normally would wear - shirt, sweater, coat, purse, etc. Do it five hundred times to be sure you can do it right the one time you will need to. Then do it five hundred times from the other holsters and carry positions you will be using. This is a good method to get you to settle on a limited range of carry positions as well as holsters.
Above all, practice drawing, aiming and shooting what you want to hit so that you can be certain of hitting what you aim at, and only what you aim at. Nothing else. In my view, there is only one way of doing this, and it involves a significant investment in time and ammunition, and, of course, money.
Shoot regularly and substantially. Invest in targets, ammunition and training. This isn't target shooting. This is self-defense shooting. Quick, but not blazingly fast. Deliberate, so that you engage the right target. Accurate, so that you hit an appropriately sized target area with all of your rounds. Sufficient, so that you can get two or three rounds into that target area before assessing the situation. (Even though you might be loaded up with eleven rounds, there is no need to practice shooting them all as fast as possible.)
There is a school of thought that a laser sight is a prerequisite, or great benefit to accomplishing good self defense shooting skills. I am in the process of testing this theory, along with a couple of laser sights from major manufacturers. However, my expectations right now are that a laser sight does not excuse one from bearing down and practicing solid self-defense shooting skills so that they are effective and come naturally. I expect that a laser, while offering certain advantages in some circumstances (I will have a better idea about this after I've done my testing and evaluations) will not substitute for the requirement of a significant amount of practice and ammunition expenditure.
To sum up, I think that awareness of having a gun on one's person is a requisite to being a safe and effective practitioner of legally carrying for self defense. The type and level of awareness changes and one gets familiar with the weapon, carry systems and responsibilities inherent in gun ownership and use. Always be aware, but be experienced, trained and effective.
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